Tuesday, May 27, 2008
ready for suggestions
The longest Tiny has ever cried to get herself to sleep is 20-30min. She wouldn't go over ten min. very often. Since she was sick for a week or two we stopped letting her cry herself to sleep since it would just make her cough more. Well, how long is too long and how much is too much? She's going on one hour right now and I'm feeling like a terrible mom but everyone seems to believe it's better for them. Is an hour too long? Maybe I'm just impatient. Is it worth it when it just makes me feel terrible. I don't know. When I feel like I have her on a schedule something ALWAYS throws it off. I'm tried, frustrated and just want to cry. I have such a wonderful baby but my nights can be so hard. She is 9 months and still waking up 1-3 times at night. The last couple nights 7-8 hours is all she will sleep. She was sleeping 10-12 before. Maybe this is just pay back since I did the same thing to my mom. I just needed to vent. sorry. One more question, anyone else ever struggled from sleep paralysis? I've had it since Emma was born and even though I don't get it as often anymore I'm ready for it to never happen again. If anyone knows how to get ride of it completely I would love to know how. She's asleep now, so I'm off to bed. I feel bad complaining but I think it's ok every now and then right?
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6 comments:
In my own opinion and experience, I generally will let Joel cry up to 30-min. until I go back in and try something else. He usually doesn't go for more than 10-min. either. There are occasions, however, when, for nothing else than my own sanity, I just HAVE to let him cry longer than that(if indeed he does). I don't think you should feel like a terrible mom, but I totally understand what you're talking about, and I'm willing to bet most other moms do, too. Sometimes you just need to let them cry because there's nothing else you can do! Joel went through quite a few periods of sleeping all through the night, then waking up 2-4 times, then back again. It IS frustrating!! These days he will typically wake up maybe once a night and cry himself back to sleep. It all depends on the baby, too. Lots of babies, you'll put them down to bed and they'll go without a fuss, while others cry EVERY time, whether they're tired or not. :)
When a baby is born, an adult psychologist is born as well. She is learning from everything you (& Jeremy & every adult) do and trying to make sense of it all. Even now, having Zachary on a pretty set schedule (knocking on wood...) he still will cry, knowing it's time for a nap, but not wanting to. Sometimes he goes down without a peep. Sometimes he cries for 5 seconds. Sometimes he will cry for an hour. I make sure he has all of his 'comfort' items {binks, blankies, bear, toy) and if he is still awake, I just let him cry until I figure something else out or he falls asleep.
Each kid is different though. So good luck!
Motherhood is not an easy job! It's tiring, frustrating, learning as you go, but also the most rewarding of any job out there. At times when you are so tired, it is best to just let her cry, even it if is for an hour. Yes, it is hard to listen to, but it is better than holding her and getting more frustrated and causing you to say or do something you immediately regret. We all say or do things we normally wouldn't when we are so tired that our brains don't function! Lay down, turn off the monitor, let her cry and you try and sleep. You'll both be better for it.
Gotta agree with Mich on this! Going back in there makes it worse, I think, because then it teaches them that if they cry long enough Mommy or Daddy will show up.
Jo. I feel you pain more than you know. I have Grace, and she is 8 months old. She cried for 2 hours and 45 mins the first time I let me cry, and then I tried for 2 more nights and she cried for 1 hour and 45 mins BOTH nights, and then I was done. I like you, have such a hard time letting my baby cry. She is a terrible sleeper. She wakes up like 3 times a night, and I usally just pull her in my bed and just nurse her all night, while I sleep. She will always sleep in her bed for the first 3 hour stretch..but then after that I let me sleep with me...I KNOW...terrible, but it works, and I can't just let her cry. I am afriad that I will make her think I don't love her. I know I am stupied, but I just hate to let her cry. I don't know what to tell you...I am the WORST with sleeping. I just figure that she will only not sleep for a year, and a year out of her 80 years of living isn't that bad. Good luck! By the way...she is so cute
Jo
Love your blog. I'm not giving you any advice because I know you well enough to know that you will make the right decision. You are plenty wise to figure it out, whatever you don't know. And you have the most amazing husband to help you. Love you lots.
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